Still wonder why no one buys what you’re selling?

Maybe it’s because you…

1. Love killing trees.

Yes that would be an M1 Abrams Tank made from junk mail.  You’re blasting away and hoping – just hoping  – that you hit something and don’t piss anyone off.

Not likely.

Not even close.

2.  Ignore Social Media.

You know you should be doing something about it but you don’t.  It will soon drive you crazy while your competitors, many of them young and ambitious, find cool new ways to generate buzz without spending a dime.

Time to take a second look before it’s too late.

3. Hire beautiful dumb people.

You simply can not drive us any more crazy than to hand money to someone just because they are cute.  You know who I’m talking about…

The dopey desk jockey at the gym.

The barista who takes seven hours to whip up an espresso.

The real estate agent who glosses over the details because she has shiny WHITE teeth.

Stupid is as stupid does.

And smart people know their best marketers are the people they hire.

4.  Send Mixed Messages

True story.

Last week I had lunch with a couple of buddies.  They both like sushi so we went to a spot we all had heard was good.  We walked in and the place was spotless, but it was a beautiful day so we chose the patio.  We sit down and straight away notice a gazillion cigarette butts on the patio floor.

Total turn off.

So we go back in but the meal has already been tainted and so have we.

Every bite I take I wonder…where else are they throwing cigarette butts?

5.  Say You Don’t Have the Budget

Go ahead.

It’s not like we all haven’t heard it before.

At least we know where the money went.

See 1-4.